“For it was You who created my inward parts; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”
When you bring your whole self to God, it’s not always about the dark stuff. The dark stuff is acknowledged and confessed and dealt with so you can get to the good stuff.
The stuff you are made of and the stuff you are made for.
It’s the blood and guts stuff, your inward parts, all knitted and twined together. It is a Fearful, meaning AWE-FULL, WONDER-FULL thing.
It’s like when you look at that ugly snowbank on your front lawn that is covered in mud and salt,and you see in your mind’s eye what you know is underneath that mess…beautiful day lillies just waiting for the sun. It’s not just the dirty snowbank that is true about your front yard, it’s what is growing green and good underneath it that is true as well.
The inward parts, the good stuff of blood and guts, is what makes some of us poets.
It’s what makes some of us count all the numbers and number all the counters.
It’s what makes some of us builders and planters, teachers and healers.
It’s what makes some of us drummers and dancers and tellers of stories.
It’s what makes some of us love bees and some of us love seashells.
Why some of us run fast and some of us walk slow.
It’s the reason some of us want to climb the highest tree and others of us love to plumb the deepest depths.
Some of us laugh the loudest and some of us cry in our cars.
Some of us think and dream like children and some of us just plain think.
God knows who we really are. Perhaps He is the only one who does. What is astounding is that this knowing who we really are is a delight to Him. And He has plans for us.
Ruth Haley Barton in her book Sacred Rhythms asks, “How many people do you know are effective at being themselves and letting God use that? This Psalm (139) invites us to do just that-to become really effective at being ourselves and letting God use that for his glory.
To embrace our created self is a gift that gives glory to the one who Created us, says Barton. When we are truly effective at being ourselves, it’s Jesus who is made famous.
So as the next part of my Lenten journey and as a writer, I have added this prayer-
“O Lord, help me to be my most effective self.”
“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.”– Ernest Hemingway.