For two weeks I traveled the Beatitude Road.
Then, last week I took a few side roads exploring the Upside Down Life.
This week my Lenten journey takes me into the shadows of self-examination.
Ruth Haley Barton calls it, “Bringing my whole self before God.”
Here is a quote from her book, Sacred Rhythms…
Many avoid the path of self-knowledge because they are afraid of being swallowed up in their own abysses. But Christians have confidence that Christ has lived through all the abysses of human life and that He goes with us when we dare to engage in sincere confrontation with ourselves. Because God loves us unconditionally-along with our dark sides-we don’t need to dodge ourselves. In the light of this love the pain of self-knowledge can be at the same time the beginning of our healing.- Andreas Ebert
Barton says that one of the most loving things God can do for us is to help us see ourselves more clearly.
“Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?”
Yeah. Why do I do that?
Why do I deflect what I don’t want to know about my own faults by pointing out or imagining the faults of others?
Why do I resist vulnerability?
Why do I bristle at apology?
Why do I shrug off my mistakes?
What if Jesus wants me to hold still for just one second to examine myself under the loving gaze of a good, good Father, so He can get that stupid log out of my eyeball?
What if there really is healing on the other side of this?
I’m done dodging. I’m going for it.
Into the abyss I go.