Thy Word Is A Holy Flashlight

Devotion:  Profound dedication.  Earnest attachment to a person or a cause.

My profound dedication and earnest attachment is a not linear.

It is circular and comes back on itself.

It gets tangled in other affairs.

My profound dedication and earnest attachment is like the necklace I have that is fine and delicate.

I  must put it away properly after wearing it or it will twist and form the tiniest of knots.

I need a small needle, some bright light and a surgeon’s patience to untangle  the silver threads  in such a way so as not to break them.

I must be still, except for my thumbs and index fingers and of course,  my eyes, which squint for direct vision.

Lately, I’ve been  practicing “lectio divina” ,which means divine reading, as part of the soul training part in a book called “The Good and Beautiful God,” by James Bryan Smith.

It is here that the holy flashlight shines.

It is here that I see the tiny knots in my life that must come under the prick of a needle.

My profound dedication and earnest attachment is being challenged by the Love Chapter, this week’s reading.

When I read the words slow, when I reflect on the phrases long, that’s when the light grows brighter.

I write the things that come into my spirit and I see where the tangles have been all along.

Love is patient – I am not patient. It is a work for me, a struggle. I am so easily distracted by the next thing that the present thing goes undone.

Love is kind -I am kind to children. I am kind to the elderly. I am kind to cashiers and waitresses. I am kind to people I like. I am not always kind to people I love.I am definitely not kind to bad drivers. I am not kind to people I perceive as rude. Or stupid. These unkindnesses are my knots.

Love does not envy – I do not think with love thoughts when I see favoritism and unfair preferential treatment.

Or nepotisim.

I have gossiped about this.

This knot is going to take some work and hopefully will not leave serious damage.

Love does not boast – I wouldn’t say I was a boaster and perhaps by saying this very thing, I am boasting. Perhaps I have a blindspot. Because I will not say I am boastful person, certainly does not mean I am not prideful.

Love is not proud – The pride in me tends to be quiet. It is a family trait that we blame on the Scots. It manifests by not asking for help, by keeping mum about problems and by keeping an arm’s length between me and people. I am afraid it’s because I cry much too easily and I am embarrassed by my tears. This knot will require a delicate touch.

Love is not rude – I am an interrupter. It is a rude habit forged over years of verbal processing. It is a knot that irritates.

Love is not self-seeking -I have desired acknowlegment. I have desired respect. I have wanted favor for myself and my children. I have manipulated to get it. A knot of shame.

Love is not easily angered – This is a knot that shows up mostly  in my car. This knot needs no squinting to be seen.

Love keeps no record of wrongs – This knot, where I held my father personally responsible for crimes of the heart committed forty years ago, is almost completely untangled.  What a relief.

Love does not delight in evil –  I do not relish anyone’s cum-uppance. That vengance belongs to God has been imprinted on my heart early on is His doing, not mine.

Love rejoices with the Truth – Yes! The spirit leaps within me whenever Jesus, the Truth, is talked about, sung about, loved about.

Love always protects, love always trusts, love always hopes, love always perseveres – I do,  I want to, I try, I am trying.

Love never fails – My love does. Jesus’ love does not.

Because He has no knots, no entanglements.

He said He wants to make me like Him.

He wants my profound dedication and earnest attachment to be without hindrance or flaw.

It is why He always comes to me carrying a flashlight.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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6 thoughts on “Thy Word Is A Holy Flashlight

  1. Mitsie, what a gift you have been given. I am blessed by your obedience to share this gift and for the transparency with which you share it. Again, a topic near and dear to me, and a near mirror image of the knots in my own journey. Heartfelt thanks for this deposit. ❤ Tammy

  2. I love the vision of the flashlight, for if God showed me my sin with a spotlight, I would be too overwhelmed, too shamed, to afraid to even move. Instead, a smaller, pinprick of light, that says, “right here, this spot, this sin at this time, this is where we will work today.” Thankful for my wise sister, with wise words.

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